Pushing My Buttons

This week we took Cooper for his one year check-up.  Every time we take him we get this great big checklist of things we should and shouldn't be doing, what to expect between now and the fifteen month check-up, and little tidbits of advice.

I always make sure to read these carefully.  I don't want to mess this kid up. Well, more than I have already anyways.

But there was something very disturbing on this list.  Something that I can hardly even bear to tell you.

It said...

It said....

***Sigh.***

It said that children of Cooper's age should not watch TV.  They are too young.  So instead, they should be entertained with books and games and age appropriate toys.

My heart sank.

But then I thought, "What do these doctors know anyways?"

I mean, how am I supposed to keep my kid away from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?  And Jake and the Neverland Pirates?  Special Agent Oso?  And Sesame Street? 

And does this mean that I have to give up the television too?  That any time that he's awake I have to leave the television off?  How will I catch up on my smut?  How will I know what's going on in the land of reality TV?  This is just too much for me.

I don't think that they know what they're asking.  My life centers around my television schedule.  Yeah, it's sad.  But I don't care.  I love television.  It's an addiction that I'm not willing to rehab.  No.  I refuse.

But then something happened.

I was home with Coop, watching him play with his toys and everything in the entertainment center because, well, that's what he does.  I was enjoying a Keeping Up With The Kardashians marathon.  And this happened.

"The doctor said, 'No,' Mama.  And he meant it."

"Now.  The bad influence of the television is off.  I can get back to the intelligence boosting things that the doctor recommended."

And then Mama turns the TV back on.

"Mama, I said NO.  You will not ruin my highly influential years with your smut.  No, Mama.  No."

I would like you to notice two things.

First, this can't be my kid.  MY kid would not have turned off the television.  No.  He would embrace it.  Love it.  Watch it until his vision starts becoming impaired. 

Second, check out the fingerprints on that television.  Niiiiiiiice.

I just can't believe that my child would take the doctor's orders so seriously.  I mean, come on kid!  We were about to see Kim get engaged!  And we were going to find out what happened between Scott and Kourtney!

What more could you ask for?! 

And more importantly, why do you want to tear out my soul this way?  Why Coop?  Why?